My Addiction
Journal Entry: Mon Dec 3, 2007, 3:32 PM
So I've been recieving Buprenorphine treatment for my opiate dependane for the past year. I go to the pharmacy every month to get 60 8mg Buprenorphine Sublingual Administration tablets. These tablets you place under your tounge and let them dissolve through the big veins underneath your toung for about 45mins, doing this in the morning after waking up dopesick every morning, I place my Buprenorphine under my toung and within seconds I get a euphoric warm feeling that deletes my dopesickness and gives me a high. Ive been hooked on Oxycontin, Methadone, Morphine, and all other opiates for 4 years now. I take my Buprenorphine in the morning when I cant get Oxycontin, methadone, morphine or heroin. Otherwise I pop Oxycontin or Methadone. Opiates have always been my drug of choice so its something I need every morning. I always feel horrible in the morning, so when I wake up I better have my buprenorphine ready. I usually wake up around 7 or 8 shaking dopesick in the morning, thats when I administer my first pill of buprenorphine. This calms me down, takes away my pain, gives me a nice opiate high for the day. Buprenorphine has a long half life. Buprenorphine keeps you high about 24 to 48 hours, its long like fentanyl and actually feels very similar to Fentanyl which is a very potent opiod that is 80 time more potent than morphine. Buprenorphine is 50 times more potent than morphine. Being so potent it can give even the person with the biggest tolerance to opiods a high that lasts a long time on just 8mg's. 8mg's of buprenorphine is like doing 100mg's of morphine. I do my buprenorphine in the morning, drink some coffee, and then I head off to work. I feel pretty good on buprenorphine, it gives me just enough of a high to give me a gentle nod, and it makes days easy to get through without needing to do shitloads of an opiate, you just do 1 pill of this super opiate and your set. Alot of the times I take 16mg's a day of buprenorphine, which eases my pain and gives me a great high all day long. When I run out of buprenorphine I score oxycontin, methadone, or morphine off the street to support my habit. But the buprenorphine is stronger than the rest of them. Plus it lasts the longest. Life with buprenorphine is really good. It keeps me high for longer, I use to use alot of Oxycontin, I use to jonze for it all day cuz I was gettin it off the street. But now that I have a script for an opiod like Buprenorphine, I always have opiates in my system everyday weather its Oxycontin, Morphine, Buprenorphine, Fentanyl, Methadone or Heroin. Gotta have my opiods in the morning, my coffee, then i'm all set. Opiod addiction is painful, the withdrawl is aweful, its not gonna kill you but you wish it would it hurts so bad. I'm so addicted to opiates now I really dont know if I'll ever get clean and sober. It's a struggle. My pills really bring me closer to god, and im caught up in a cycle of addiction.
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